I wanted to post last week when it happened but I just couldn't get myself to write about it.
It was horrible. Our dream ripped out from right under us. It didn't really hit me the first day when it happened. I think I was in denial. It hit me the next day. I stayed in bed the entire day. I am back to that waiting space. I hate being here. Feeling like I am back to waiting for my life to begin again. I used to say that I will not let infertility define my life. But the fact is...it does. It dominates my life.
I've been feeling pretty blue. I feel sad for my baby that is gone. Trying hard to keep strong.I know I'll be fine...just have to go through the emotions.
We are going to try again with our surrogate probably late summer sometime. We have 5 frozen embryos.
