Monday 13 February 2012

Secretly Hoping

I have been pretty anxious lately about this whole surrogacy thing. We meet with the DR. tomorrow.
I just don't want to go through another IVF to retrieve my eggs! But I know that if I don't then I will regret not trying this route. I just don't want to deal with the hormones, the pain. the discomfort of it all.
Part of me has been secretly hoping that I will be pregnant naturally and I won't have to go through any of it. I will pee on a stick and I will see two red lines. I will yell out from the bathroom and give my husband the great news. We will hug and cry and be excited. In that moment we will bury all our previous fertility treatments,trials and difficulties. We will resurrect all of our dreams.We will call our parents, sisters and brothers and share the good news. We will spend hours designing a nursery. We won't worry about names since we have already decided on names. OK...well you get the point.

Thursday 9 February 2012

It's been a while since I've blogged..

The last two months have been a bit crazy for me. A lot going on. 2012 is actually gearing up to be a very busy year.

So I have my appointment with Dr.Virro along with our surrogate on Feb 14th. We should have an idea then of how everything is going to work. I am not looking forward to taking all the medication for IVF again. But at the same time I am willing to go through this again for the possibility of having our own biological child. I am so fearful that our embryos will not implant in our surrogate mother. I really want this to work. My mom will be coming in March to stay with me for a couple of months while I got though everything. I am so grateful for that. At least I will have meals cooked when I get home from work. I won't have to think about grocery shopping and cooking!

We just bought a new home in Aurora...right next to my sisters. It's a new development so it won't be ready till June 2013. We felt it was time for a change. So now our home is up for sale. It's funny cause I am having conflicting feelings about selling. I feel like I am letting go of the dreams that I attached to our home for the last 8 years. Dreams that didn't all come to fruitiion. The yard we have is quite big and we always thought we'd have our kids running around there...with swing sets, slides, back yard birthday parties...the list goes on ..

My youngest sister is getting married in June of this year...so there are preparations under way for that as well. We will be gone for almost four weeks...cant wait to go ..sunshine and beach...just the thought of it makes me feel good.

Well I'll post again after my appointment on Tuesday morning...let you know how it all that goes.